Men's Coaching, Men's Work and Personal Development Tools & Resources for Smart, Evolving Men

This week my son turned 10 weeks old. Overall, he’s been the biggest blessing in my life. Most new Dads don’t talk about the challenges of parenthood. Too many guys are bought in to pretending everything is okay. I learned an important lesson this week about surrender.

As an entrepreneur, I can work constantly from 7am to 9pm and everywhere in between.  I’m inspired and motivated about bringing consciousness to manhood. However, I have to admit that I’m a little neurotic at times in my work ethic. I can overwork and try to “achieve” too much.

Having a new son, I had this idea that I’d still be able to work a lot and get the things done I wanted to get done. Boy did I miss the mark. My wife went back to work this week and it all came into focus.  We share the parenting responsibilities so when she’s at work, I watch my boy and visa versa. I would catch myself as I tried to squeeze in work hours even while holding him. After my wife gave me some honest feedback that I was “less available” to her, it hit me.

Underneath my anxiety and neurotic work behavior was a lot of grief. I realized that the life I had prior to my son being born, is now over. The “me” that could do whatever, whenever is now gone. The more I try to ‘hang on’ to the “me” that I once new the more suffering I create for myself. The more I tried to ‘hang on’ to getting my work load accomplished, the more I was suffering.

This morning I had a beautiful connection with my son and with myself. Why? Because I let go of the need to work and get anything accomplished. I just let it all go. I found myself with my son in my lap on the rocking chair, gazing out the window, rocking together, and being grateful to be alive and have the opportunity to be there to watch him grow. Moreover, I’m now more connected to my wife.

As for work? Contrary to my own popular beliefs and neurotic work ethic, the work that truly needs to get done will get done and, when I work my commitment is to come from genuine love and inspiration as opposed to fear.

What to do?

So, I invite you to surrender your trips and find the thread that is happening right now in your life as opposed to what you want to happen. Surrender the need to get something accomplished and be with what is right now. Check in with yourself and see if you are in fear or anxiety, or stress. Notice what is driving your behavior. What is underneath your neurotic work ethic? Then take a few breaths, feel your feet, and find the inspiration. From there, act. Notice if you are more productive or less.

Then comment and share your expereience with us.

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